so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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