Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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