Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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