it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
