this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
