Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
