we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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