I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
