'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
