He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
