He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
