she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
