It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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