I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
