real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
