No subtext here. People are naked.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
