Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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