I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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