Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Two words: blizzard sex
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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