All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
