Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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