All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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