shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
