He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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