I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
