i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
