Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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