Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
