I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
