Sponge bath it is.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
