what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
