Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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