She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Holy sore nipples Batman
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
