i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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