i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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