Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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