Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
my sisters under your porch take her home
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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