omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He shit in the fireplace
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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