it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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