this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
