kristin has been a bad kristin
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
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