every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
