I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i want to swaddle you in tequila
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's shark week go big or go home
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
