omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
