Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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