There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
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