ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize