Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize