So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize