week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
