Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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