How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
