So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
