After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize