alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
