i jhust puked up my retainher.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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