it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I checked into jail on foursquare
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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