I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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