how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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